Have knitting thoughts. Will attempt to piece them out over the rest of this post. First things first: laundry.
Yeah, I know. How dare I be responsible? How could I think of doing anything more productive than wiggling my fingers while my apartment is ten billion degrees (no A/C and full afternoon sun, you do the math).
Well I have to, so bear with me. I'll be right back....
.....
Okay, back. Miss me? I know you did because I'm still breathing. Had you hired the good mercenaries, I wouldn't be here to reply. Got the loads started. Hope to have this post done before I have to go and dig them out.
Now... Knitting Knews!
First: A finished object to give one hope...
The second FYSS finished and off the needles (see yesterday for translation). I feel so good about it finally being done that I am filled with...
Anticipation: Casting on something new and exciting!
Nerd Girl Yarns Bounce and Stomp sock base in the colourway "Your Ratings Have Just Gone Up" The colour in the picture is mostly true, it's maybe a little bit bright there, but only by a teensy bit. I blame my camera in this case. Too dark for the sock, too light for the yarn. At any rate, the NGY feels gorgeous and I'm so looking forward to playing with it. I'm debating trying something new, just to see how it would turn out, because the recipient (the ever-sock-loving Other Half) just wants it on his feet, doesn't care about much else (but was very vociferous about not having it done in King Charles Brocade...). Been debating challenging myself with teeny cables by casting on for The Yarn Harlot's Earl Grey Socks. They're interesting to look at and seem interesting to knit, and fitting, again, for the recipient as he is (for a colonial) a massive tea drinker. It's about the only thing he does consume, other than the occasional soda/pop/coke* or glass of chocolate milk. Considering future projects I am reminded of...
Dread: The sweater that no matter how much I try, won't knit itself with telekinesis
This charming little number (yes, the giant blue blob in the middle there, with incredible colour balance, I might add) is the back portion of the first project intended to be knit for The Other Half. Oh yes... it's a Boyfriend Sweater. I cast on for this thing.... back in '08(?) I believe, after having vetted yarn colour (not content**) and pattern past the one who would be wearing it. It was going along swimmingly: I swatched, measured, measured again*** in a different spot, and cast on the 113 stitches across for the back. I knit the back, the front, left off for about a year because I got to the neckline and I had one of those knitter/pattern moments. You know the ones. Where you look at the pattern, and what you're putting out, and you figure that your hands are either somehow disconnected from the signals coming out of your brains, or that the instructions you're given were somehow translated from a foreign language to another, more archaic language and then into English (no fault of the designer, I was very very new to knitting). Yeah those moments. Anyhow, after sitting it aside to steep for about a year or so, I pulled it back out... oh wait I forgot the part where I was halfway through the front and I ran out of yarn (more on that tomorrow, promise) and couldn't find any more anywhere** (part of the reason for the steeping). So, yeah, found more yarn, pulled it back out, got the front finished, including the neck, thankyouverymuch, and then started in on the arm. Promise.
Now, I had, at this point, been reading quite a bit of The Yarn Harlot's archives. Time and again Stephanie mentioned, warned against, the lies that are swatches, and the inconsistencies of gauge between swatch and finished object. I had taken those lessons, those words, to heart, quite deeply. So, if you've read her words, you should understand my mounting horror, as I worked row by row up the sleeve and the little voice in my head, that little voice that's had time to read, and absorb, and learn; that tiny, gentle, hateful little voice pipes up and says:
"That looks wrong."
I ignore it and work another couple of rows.
"It really does look off."
Deep breath. More rows.
"Did you check your gauge?"
*twitch*
I lay the sleeve down, and get out my trusty gauge ruler. Antique, or so I claim, given to me by a dear, dear friend. Another deep breath. Measure.
It's off.
Check another spot.
It's off
Check the front.
Off, in multiple places.
Eye the back.... Naaah, I did that first. Can't be off. It's the stuff I did back when I was new, and still holding on with a death grip thinking my aluminium needles wouldn't stay in my stitches.
That Voice stares at me. An impressive feat for a vocal construct.
Measure.
Off.
Even the first few rows.
....
Needless to say, the air around me turned as blue as the yarn in the sweater.
But then I made A Decision. Yes, that's right. A Decision. Not a decision. A Decision, worthy of those capitals.
I ripped every. single. last. horrible. taunting. mean. nasty. LYING stitch out.
Then I got smaller needles.
And cast on again.
****
*translations vary by district, I have attempted to include those that I've heard used most often to be sure those reading it are not confused nor taken aback by my language choice. I intend to indicate here any sugary carbonated beverage of any kind whatsoever. I felt it important here to note these different translations and usages because I've seen fights break out over which one is "correct".
**No, I will not tell you what yarn. The rest of the story about the sweater is bad enough.
***Carpenter's rule applied to knitting: swatch once, measure twice.
**** Incidentally, all the other knitted goods have been received with joyous enthusiasm, especially the socks, and I have made it perfectly clear that this sweater has earned its place as being solely for TOH's "Man Cave" because when this thing is done, I will never allow it to see the light of day, as punishment for it's f***ing with me so hard while I was learning. I bounced the curse back on to the sweater. Boyfriend Socks Forever!
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